The first rule of Funhouse is don’t talk about Funhouse

The location of Funhouse will only be revealed to you once you are hired; This protects the anonymity of both clients and workers. If you are hired, we collectively look out for the safety & well being of one another – including everyones individual preference for anonymity.

What if I know the client?

At Funhouse we have an intercom system, allowing only you to see the client before you let them in. If you happen to know them (this happens so surprisingly seldom) you don’t need to interact with them at all. Madam Mary will step in – You will both be kept safe and private.

What hours do I have to work each week?

You can choose your hours; We work on call.
Every Saturday Madam Mary text’s asking what days/times you would like to be available for the coming week.

Show me the money

Our payout structure is based around you getting between 60% – 75% of the take from each job. The rest covers the advertising/material costs that go into each booking.

Escorting vs. sugaring?

If you are considering sugaring as a way of making extra income, It IS still sex work!

Here are some things to understand about sugaring:

  • Many sugar daddies are sex worker clients who have been banned from reputable escort agencies for pushing boundaries and being less than respectful. Or have stopped seeing escorts because escorts refuse to be taken advantage of.
  • You will be expected to put in a lot of time and performance for a generally meagre amount of money or perhaps gifts in exchange. You can’t pay your rent with gifts.
  • Sex will be expected and more often than not it will be expected without protection. Sugar daddies are not ONLY having sex with you, no matter what they tell you.
  • You will often have no one who knows what you are doing and therefore no one to talk to about this, ask advice from or help so you’re able to understand and set boundaries and prices.
  • If you are reading this and you still decide to go down the sugaring route – The NZPC has resources & available support for you if this is the direction you’re wanting to take in Sex Work. They’re an amazing bunch of people whose only interest is your well being.
What if I don’t want to do full service?

Your body = your rules.
You can choose to only provide massage or provide massage and full service and either is fine and dandy. Different providers are comfortable with different services.

What if I am not very experienced with sex?

We give you basic training and can talk you through some helpful tips and tricks for practicing safe, confident, fun and consensual sex – the rest is practice and confidence. If you have any questions, we will answer them, no matter how embarrassing or trivial they seem. When you first start you will only see clients that Mary knows and trusts 100%. Once she knows that you understand that YOU are the most important part of the puzzle then new clients will be able to book you too. A great way to build a lucrative clientele.

What if I don’t want to see a client again?

You don’t have to.
You have a right to say ‘no’ to any booking for whatever reason.
Sex work should never feel unsafe or pressured, so we will always support your decisions.

What if I can’t afford new lingerie for photos?

One of our most popular ladies here first arrived to FH with a bra that was held together with safety pins. We have plenty of outfits and new sets of cute knickers in cases of emergency. Then perhaps once you get your first payout you may want to splash out on a few matching sets of underwear, inexpensive is fine, but matching is compulsory!

What if I have a booking but feel unwell / Availability changes?

Your well being is more import than pushing yourself into a booking – Your mental and physical wellbeing is the priority before anything else.
Open and honest communication is key; Let Madam Mary know as soon as you realise your plans have changed.

Will I have to deal with drunk/high guys?

Clients have to be coherent enough to communicate clearly and make bookings with Mary. If a client was to turn up inebriated, tell Mary & they will be asked to leave.

How old do I need to be to apply?

18 years old minimum, with ID in hand for our meeting following your applications approval.

Do I have to *gulp* ‘audition’?

God no. There is no creepy ‘testing out’ of new girls, just talking over coffee. Mary is looking for a combination of beauty, brains, empathy and charisma that translates to sexiness; A lot of sex work is talking, listening and making people feel attractive.

What if I want to get tattoo’s / piercing’s or dye my hair varying colours?

Although beautiful in every form, our femme demographic & clientele at Funhouse’s preference lay around lesser body modifications – although every client has different preferences.

What if I am not ‘female’ or femme presenting?

Some of our ‘ladies’ are Non-Binary, and we have in the past been home to Tran’s sex workers. Although, everyone who comes on board at Funhouse understands that the clientele niche we service, predominantly lean towards feminine presenting escorts, with female anatomy.

We understand this is a difficult representation for some, and although Funhouse may not be able to supply sufficient work to those who don’t align/feel comfortable with working with a cis-female presentation. But please feel free to reach out to us, we may be able to offer you advice & guidance for other agencies that cater to more gender fluid presenting services. Or contact NZPC for advice and information.

What if my photo’s aren’t professional quality?

Application photos can be off your phone – as long as they are clear and recent.
We have a resident Photographer, if your application is successful your shoot for Advertising Content will be fun, comfortable & safe.

What about paying taxes?

Taxes can be paid discreetly so that nothing goes on your permanent record linking you to sex work. We would recommend Hnry otherwise you can find out more at the NZPC!

How do I apply??

You will need to fill out or form attached to the Apply Page, here you will be asked to provide recent photos & a small description of yourself. This may include why you are interested in becoming a Wellington escort, and whether or not you have tried sex work before. Please also include your age, contact information, any tattoos, large marks or significant scars you may have is also super-important and whether you live in Wellington or elsewhere.

Your confidentiality will be respected at all times and any info/pictures you submit will only be seen by Madam Mary.
Due to the high volume of applications Mary is unable to meet with everyone who applies and some decisions will be made based on the applications alone.

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